The Gurus

Humans seek knowledge. More than knowledge, enlightenment. They want to be shown the way. They want to have an answer. So they seek the people who will give them this answer. A solution to all their problems. A manner to reach their goal. 

This pattern is repeated in many spheres of society, including the equestrian world. Actually, I believe it is especially prevalent there, because many, many horse owners want to have with their animals a deep, spiritual connection. An almost telepathic bond, like the one riders and horses have in books, films, whatever. They love their horses and want to be loved by them. And there are people out there offering them the means to achieve that. Some are sincere and know what they’re doing. Others are gurus, only after money. 

In a way, I think they are numerous in the equestrian world because equestrians, like religious people, sometimes seek something that belongs to the sphere of the spiritual (that mystical relationship to their horse) and is not easily attained (if that is even possible) in a physical manner. This is what leads to individuals either claiming that they have found a way (sometimes believing it is the case) or pretending they have (being fully aware that they have not). And desperate, gullible horseowners/carers/riders become their followers, because they long to attain that spiritual connection to their animal. 

I say desperate and gullible without any judgement. I was, I still am, one of those people who longs for a deeper connection with their horse. I was very enthusiastic about some people and institutions who, I now know or suspect, are no better than gurus. I’ve grown up and, as I did some research about trainers and training methods, I learnt to be more careful about who to trust and whose advice to follow. I learnt that only one being could give me the answers I needed: my horse. It is to him I should listen above all. 

Some years ago, I discovered the methods of a very renown institution in France, which poses as the centre of natural horsemanship here (though I’m sure there are others claiming the same thing). I saw presentations. Here they were, doing impressive dressage moves in just a neckrope. At the time, I did not own a horse, I was only just starting my bitless journey, and they represented everything I wanted to achieve. 

Many riders in my situation buy their books, go on clinics, have lessons there. I didn’t buy the books (because I’m a miser and thought they were too expensive) but I did manage to get my hands on one and have a look. Parts of it presented a step to step method to riding your horse in a neckrope, or to desensitising your horse. Very nioce, but not exactly new. And calling it the “[insert name of the institution] method” didn’t make it any different from the methods used by the American horse-whisperers that have been around for decades. 

That, however, isn’t what troubled me. What troubles me is that they present themselves as giving all the answers, as allowing you to create that magical relationship with your horse…providing you pay. Pay for the books. Pay for lessons (fair enough). Buy a 40€ plastic “communication” whip (because the 5€ one from the sportswear shop isn’t “magic”). Buy a 16€ cotton neckrope (which cost 1€ in raw material but, you see, the fact they’re selling it makes it “magic”). Buy a 160€ bitless bridle that’s so ill-made and so harsh the risks of hurting the horse are too great. Money, money, money… What started out as a reasonable (if not new) “method” turned into a money-making business, preying on that deep-seated desire to become one with the horse. The people who fall for it are vulnerable. Angsty teenagers yearning to find solace in horses (like me at the time). Insecure adults who always wanted to have a horse, have just bought one but have no clue what to do next. Affection-starved people who want to create a meaningful bond with their horses, to escape their sometimes unappealing daily life. Relieving them of their money, by selling an illusion, is predatory. 

Though I guess many the people who paid feel they got what they wanted. They got a thoroughly desensitised horse that could be ridden in a neckrope. Wait… Desensitised or just shut-down? I’d give a lot to have a look behind the scenes. How are those horses trained? And actually, an institution promoting a “natural” way of riding but still using the bit as one of its foundations makes me suspicious. Maybe I’m wrong. I hope I am. But this financial aspect, turning horsemanship into a business makes me very, very uncomfortable. 

Having a glimpse behind the scene is very useful to tell the gurus from the people who are sincere. Several trainers teach at the stable where I board my horse. One of them, an apparently very nice lady, soft-spoken and gentle, seems to claim doing natural horsemanship. All her students’ horses are bitted, sometimes heavily so. She also claims that she will teach them to do “haute école” and dressage. All her students at the stable are middle-aged ladies, owning their first horse, realising their childhood dream. They have beautiful, young, Friesan or Lipizzaner horses who are, to say the truth, a bit too much for them (hence the harsh bits?). 

As I’ve said, this lady seemed very nice (though I was a bit dubious about her actual training). One day, recently, I was bringing my horse from the field when I saw her tacking up one of her clients’ Friesian mare. She thought she was alone. It was a bit windy. She had put the saddle on the mare’s back but not done the girth. I’m not sure why. The mare stayed several moments, with the girth dangling, then she spooked. Not badly: she stepped to the side, and the saddle crashed to the ground. The trainer then punished her by tugging very brutally on the leadrope, several times in a row, frightening the mare even more. 

A lot of people do that at the stables, tugging to punish. But I didn’t expect it from this soft-spoken trainer who keeps repeating to her students that they have be gentle with their horses. There was nothing gentle in her behaviour, at this moment when she thought no one was looking. And she was punishing the mare for something that was not her fault. You don’t punish a horse for being scared. And you don’t punish a horse for your mistakes (in that case not doing the girth). You cannot be gentle in front of your clients, making pretty speeches about communicating with the horse, and then brutal with their horses behind their back. That’s being a fraud. 

I do believe that horsecarers/riders/owners should steer clear of any person or institution who claims to be infallible or to have found a magical method to become a horse-whisperer or whatever. No one is infallible. Even training methods based on science are not perfect: what science stated was true ten years ago isn’t now, and what appears true now will not be in ten years’ time when we have gained more insight into how horses think, for instance. Science is never exact, because life itself isn’t. 

No one is infallible. No one has a magical method that will work with every single horse. No one can grant you the power to have a special relationship with your horse. No one is perfect. Find a trainer whose ideals, whatever they are, match your own. Listen to them, but do not take their word as gospel (and they should not try to make you believe it is). Make suggestions. Discuss. Find a trainer who wants, as much as you, to grow as a horseperson. Find someone who loves horses more than money. Find someone who recognises when they make mistakes. Find a teacher, not a guru And do not be afraid to contradict if you do not agree. 

There is not one truth, one way, one connection with horses. There’s you, and there’s your horse. No one but you two will ever know what your relationship is truly like. There may be tears, mistakes, obstacles. There may be failure and moments of discouragement. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if you can ride in a neckrope or not, if you can work at liberty or not. What matters is what your horse sees when he looks at you. A trusted guardian. A friend. Someone with whom he feels at peace. What matters is what you see when you look at your reflection in your horse’s eyes. Absolutely no one can teach you how to love your horse or how to make your horse love you. That just happens, as you both grow.